Being born was not a choice. Sure someone chose not abort me, but I was born without much knowing it. Earliest memory may have been seeing a movie when I was a few months shy of turning 2. I had no choice in those memories being my earliest, but I certainly remember seeing The Empire Strikes Back in a theater. I sat on an aisle seat to the left of my father. I remember how excited I was to see Darth Vader in the ice caves of Hoth.
I had a Darth Vader birthday cake when I was 4. Probably came from Kroger. I remember my 4th birthday because I was excited to share my favorite Little Debbie snack with my daycare, but the memory of the cake has been re-enforced by pictures. The daycare was the second one I used to attend. I remember the previous one vaguely, but it was run by some of the same people and a lot of the same kids were at both places. First place seemed bigger and more like a school. I remember eating a taco shell in a cafeteria. I had a favorite teacher, Miss Toni. She eventually came to the 2nd daycare. I really liked her. I remember a few kids, but I mostly remember Miss Toni. I felt special there with my green cot and my raised area for exercise.
I remember the biggest dilemma of the day was whether to use my blankie as pillow or blanket during nap time.
None of these memories were of my own free will, but rather my reacting to the will of others being forced upon me. Those actions molded me. I always felt like I was different and needed to be treated in a certain way. Not sure if it was contempt, but I never felt the need for other kids. Kindergarten was pretty much the same, but I remember being disappointed in first grade when none of the kids with whom I played were at the school... they all went to the Catholic school which didn't offer kindergarten. I made a couple new friends, but I believe they were in a different reading class, so I felt left out. I don't know when it occurred, but I know I was annoyed by the lack of control I had over most things except for what I ate during lunch. I usually only ate the snack and cut carrots.
