irony

How do you make God laugh? Make a plan.

That unfunny joke is what my brother once used to start a phone conversation with me. My brother always told bad jokes. It was his way of moving forward... I have no idea what or why because I always dreaded talking to my brother after he moved to California.

Nothing he says is of interest to me. I somehow talked to him an hour last week about baseball. Yes, baseball. He never cared for it much after high school until the last few years when he'd talk to our dad.

I am trying to give up on sports, but baseball is my stumblingblock. My withdraw from sports made conversation with my dad minimal. His politics clashed with mine so he thought I was evil, thus it was to be avoided if he didn't want to be made a fool.

Anyways, I don't know how much longer I have for this world, but I'm finally at peace with much of my existence, and that scares me. It means a shoes is gonna drop or something else to that effect. Maybe I'm not blissful enough since I still have an ego that resents stuff.

Most of the time I laugh off the twists and turns at which points my life has deviated from any form of plan I ever embarked upon. My life is a series of unremarkable meanderings that always netted the opposite intended effect. Best example was my going to grad school with the intention of being a hermit.